Things I have learned on the cruise ship....

As we didn't fly, you can take unlimited luggage.   We were constrained by how much we could carry on the coach on the way to the ship, but could have easily taken another bag.
I left most of my summer clothes, sleeveless tops, shorts, sunhat, sun lotion, flip flops etc on our yacht Fandancer when we left Greece.   I could have made use of more of these items.  I definitely missed a hat and sun cream. I had my swimming costume but never wore it.   My face is a very attractive lobster red!   And no, I didn't want to pay extortionate prices for a tourist sunhat or sun cream when we went ashore..  I suffered in silence...

You are told each day if the dress code is formal (dinner jacket or suits for men, cocktail or long dresses for ladies), informal (jackets but no ties for men) or casual (anything goes but no shorts or sleeveless tee shirts in evening dining room).    We did find that these rules were not stuck to religiously, and if you don't want to bring suits and jackets it doesn't really matter, you can always go to the serve yourself buffet on the formal evenings instead and wear practically anything.   One guy on our evening dining table that we christened Cabbie Barry, never wore a jacket or even a smart shirt the whole time he was in the dining room, just a dark tee shirt, much to Tim's disgust, who put up with a shirt and jacket every evening, God bless him!

Be prepared to be seated each evening with the same bizarre table guests for the duration of the cruise.   We were too scared to ask to change tables in case they hunted us down and wanted to know why we had deserted them, but at least they weren't  totally doolally, gaga, dribbling, partially deaf or completely senile.     At lunchtimes you can choose to eat in any restaurant or the buffet, and the staff seat you at any table, so you get to meet different people.  Today we have a day at sea, so for lunch we decided to go to a restaurant (basically as it was only ten steps from where we had been sleeping... I mean sitting, and couldn't be bothered to walk up one flight of stairs to the buffet.... We were seated with the old, posh, well to do couple on the ship who had the highest grade cabin with posh balcony (I know this as I spied them sitting out on it one day), also on our table were an ancient Welsh couple who were hard of hearing, the wife had huge flying bouffant hair like long cotton wool, and they were always one sentence behind when they answered your conversational questions, like that Two Ronnies Mastermind sketch....

It is important to be able to find your way back to your cabin from any point in the ship.  It is surprisingly difficult to know which side of the boat is which, and whether you are walking forward or aft, especially when dark, and can't see out of the windows, when you can't even tell which way the ship is sailing!   Even Tim finds this difficult and he knows  everything about boats!

It is not compulsory to eat every single dish at any mealtime.   But strangely, most people, including us, leave this bit of their brain behind and feel compelled to load their plate with every food on offer.   Even though you swear to yourself when you wake up each day that you won't have a full English breakfast every morning, you don't need anything more than a small salad or fruit at lunchtime, you definitely should forego the afternoon tea, and maybe you could just have three courses in the evening not five - your brain shuts down and you find yourself acting as if it is your last ever meal and load your plate at the breakfast and lunch buffet with as much as will fit on it, and in the evening recite the whole five course menu back to the waiter......

If it's Sunday it must be Gran Canaria....

Just a quick update on Arrecife and Santa Cruz

If this was your first ever trip to the Canaries, I think you would be disappointed by what you see on this cruise.    Arrecife seems to be a fairly large town with over 200,000 inhabitants.   When we got off the boat, it was a short walk into the town, and there is a pleasant area around a sort of tidal inland harbour with lots of local boats.   The surrounding buildings are painted blue and white and it is an attractive area.   We decided to walk past this relatively touristy part and not go in the first bar we came to, as they were bound to be full of other cruise ship people and probably sell expensive food and drink.    So instead, we thought we would be clever and find a more authentic bar, and walked about half a mile right up to the top of what was described as the Main Street which had a bit of an incline.    But not one local bar or restaurant did we find!   Now, if this was Greece, there would be some sort of taverna every fifty paces!   There were hardly any proper shops either, quite a few cycle shops, hairdressers, and a few local businesses.    That'll teach us!   We walked all the way back down to the seafront, and found quite an attractive area in a courtyard behind the bus station, where we did get a small beer, as by now we were hot and tired out.    After a brief recovery, we walked back in the direction of the blue and white buildings at the harbour, and guess what, we ended up eating lunch very close to the first bar we had seen!

Santa Cruz on Tenerife was slightly nicer, and a much bigger place.  From the boat the next morning, it looked a very busy town, spreading right back into the foothills.   Mostly 1960s and 60s square blocks of apartments, with just a few much older buildings hiding between them.    A short walk from the ship brought us to the main square, with a huge artificial lake and some interesting buildings.    We walked up what was obviously the main shopping street, it was fairly busy.   I didn't get to go into any shops.  
Tim's idea of shopping is waiting outside for me, so I feel guilty at this, so I frantically rush in, have a quick look round and then out again, usually without buying anything.   He hates shopping, so I don't bother either, I much prefer to wander round by myself and take as much time as I like.   But that won't be happening on this trip.  Then we found a cafe where we had a quick beer and a peruse of the map, and then continued our perambulations.  We found a wonderful park, with amazing trees and plants, fountains and sculptures.    There were also wide streets or 'Ramblas' like they have in Barcelona, with a wide pedestrian area with trees between the traffic.
Around the town there are many lovely statues and sculptures, ranging from classical to very modern.  It gave the town quite a sophisticated feel.   We explored some mega posh roads with amazing mansions with lovely ornate architecture and windows...... More news soon....

More info about the ship....

More about the boat and passengers.....

We left Gibraltar as dusk was falling and there were some amazing views of the rock as all the lights in the town came on, and the ship gradually inched away from the port.  It took a whole day and a half to sail to our next destination, which was Arrecife in the Canary Islands.  We arrived early morning, and were already docked when we emerged from our cabin for breakfast.    We have an inside cabin with no window, and I would say that this is the only thing about the whole trip so far which I would change.  We didn't have a choice of cabin, as we booked very late, and the actual cabin size is excellent, with lots of storage and a really good, hot and powerful shower in the ensuite bathroom.   But I do miss not being able to look out of a window when I wake up and see what the day is like.  
We are on deck 5, there is another deck of cabins below us, and also on 6 and 7,then deck 3 is the medical centre and one of disembarkation areas, and I guess it's also the crew area.   Deck 8 and 9 is where the restaurants are, and deck 10 has bars, the Bistro buffet, a library, small casino, the spa centre, small number of expensive shops, and the theatre.   There is also a small outside swimming pool, hot tubs, lots of deck space for sitting or sunbathing, deck 11 and 12 is mostly outside space, bars, more small hot tubs, the gym.
I really detest sitting in a row of deckchairs squeezed closely side by side, but there's plenty of space and you can usually find somewhere to sit away from the masses.     There's a lovely sun deck right at the back of the boat which has artificial grass, some nice plants, nice comfy conservatory furniture,, which is sheltered from the wind but still sunny, that's my favourite spot.   Also, we are not really on this cruise to soak up the sun, we've had enough of that in Greece from April to October this year.   Clearly some people are here for some winter sun and expose their bodies at every opportunity, but to be quite honest, we've only had one completely hot and sunny day, but it is always warm and pleasant, but a few clouds.

Now - the clientele.    This is a no children boat. I have no objection to my own children and grandchildren, but have found other people's  kids to be not always well behaved and too noisy.   On the other hand, most people who go on cruises are mostly retired, like us.   So we expected a lot of olds, and indeed there are.   We have seen only a few couples who are clearly younger than us, but most are the same age as us, I should imagine, and we have tended to mix with this age group at dinner or in the bars, or when sitting around doing not much.   Then there is a very large number who are clearly very much older, by at least 20-25 years!    And some of them are very decrepit, as you can imagine.    It's like an old peoples home!  This is what I am going to be like in 25 years, shuffling along very slowly, walking sticks, walking frames, oh what an exciting life to look forward to.........

In which we take a cable car, climb down a large rock, and meet some apes....

On the ship, several excursions are arranged at every port, allowing passengers to explore the area without having to arrange travel or think for themselves, and usually costing a lot of money.   Of course, this suits some people very well, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with these trips, but sometimes it's nicer to wander off by yourselves, to avoid waiting in queues to join coaches. and not be constrained by time schedules (except getting back on board before sailing) which is what we like doing.
So after leaving the ship in the morning when it docked at Gibraltar, we wandered about half a mile into the town, through the square into Main Street,  and along as far as the cable car station.    It takes you up a very steep ascent up to the top of the rock, some 450m high.   The tickets weren't cheap though, £22.50 return for the two of us. Causing Tim to turn purple and exhibit a very sharp intake of breath and muttering how many lagers that would pay for....

At the top of the rock, I was surprised to see one of the famous apes lurking just outside the cable car exit near the viewing gallery.   They obviously take it in turns each day to do this, allowing visitors to takes the obligatory photo of a famous primate.    This one looked very grumpy, especially as he wasn't going to get any food here, as it is illegal to feed them.    The views from the top were breathtaking, and well worth the trip.   You can see right over to the African coast, 15 miles in the distance.     We decided to have a cup of coffee in the cafe, mainly as there was free wifi, so we rushed in to check our emails and check-in on Facebook......   We sat close to the window with more amazing views over the back of the rock, and another ape kindly posed for photos right in front of me.
The people from the ship on the organised excursion arrived in the cafe some time after us, having caught a fleet of white minibuses to the cable car, or being driven part of the way up the rock and walking to the summit.    Another ape took the opportunity of the ever opening door to slip into the cafe too.   Or maybe this was just another cruise ship passenger.....  He proceed to queue up and ordered a cappuccino.  Only joking!

St Michael's cave is another famous attraction on the rock itself, apparently a huge natural cavern complete with stalag tites and mites.    "There was no charge when I last came here over 40 years ago, and you could wander round by yourself..." Tim declared, as we got to the entrance of the caves which had now turned into a glorified tourist shop, cafe and ticket booth, charging £10 each for the pleasure of going underground with dozens of other people.  Needless to say, we didn't get to see this tremendous natural phenomenon.   "£20!  Outrageous!   I'd rather spend that on lunch back in town" declared Tim, and I reluctantly agreed.......

As we were now already walking downhill, bypassing the caves, we decided to keep going and walk all the way back!   Luckily I was wearing trainers as some of the off-road paths were quite steep, very uneven with loose stones.   We saw quite a few of the famous apes, including some very teeny tiny cute baby apes.    We had read that the larger apes will attempt to relieve you of any loose possessions, such as sunglasses, hats,cameras, binoculars, and try to snatch bags containing food.     Obviously they were on commission to supply the market stalls selling such tat, back in town......

Some people on the cruise we spoke to, had been put off by tales of pilfering primates and wouldn't go up the rock for fear of a monkey mugging, but we were made of sterner stuff and weren't fazed by an ape assault.    But we did see one German lady standing near us, have hysterics as a medium sized ape leapt on her back and attempted to remove her shoulder bag.   She was floundering and waving her arms and screaming, while she was also making drunken-like rotations to try and shake off her unwelcome suitor, as her husband attempted to film her ape encounter for YouTube.....

When we finally arrived back in the Main Street, every bone in my body was aching, and we collapsed in a bar to spend our earlier monetary savings on a beer and some grilled sardines.   Later, who should we bump into on the street but Concussion Keith and Donna Kebab (our evening dining companions, see previous blog).   Donna was ecstatic as she had purchased some Swarvowski crystal jewellery for only £99, whereas the onboard price for the same object was £150.    Woo.  Lucky her.   My whole jewellery collection isn't worth a quarter of that.    And Concussion Keith proudly told us he had bought ten 'sleeves' of cigarettes (cartons) for some bargain price of £30 each and would resell them for double that price back in the uk, to go towards his next cruise ticket!  

In which we learn that time doesn't stand still.....

On the fifth evening of our cruise, we arrived in Gibraltar.    In order to escape some bad weather, the Captain increased speed to outrun a storm, and we arrived early at 11pm instead of early the next morning.   We had crossed the notorious Bay of Biscay with hardly a ripple.  It was lovely to go on deck after dinner and watch the ship approach the port of Gibraltar, with the town lights shining and the rock looming high over the harbour.  We were due to leave at 5pm later that day, so we had quite a few hours to explore the small town and large rock, which I had never visited before.  Tim had been a few times previously, but well over 40 years ago, when he used to pick up boats and sail them back to the uk as part of his job as a delivery skipper.

It's sometimes pleasant to go somewhere as a couple when one of you has been before and knows something about the place, as it can save you time deciding where to go, and what to avoid.       On the other hand, it can be slightly annoying when all they say when you are walking round, is -

 ..... "that block of flats wasn't there when I last came"
or - "it's so much busier along this road than when I was last here",
or - "I picked up a boat that was moored just to the left of that yellow bollard",
or - "that shop looks different somehow, compared to when I was here 40 years ago",
or - "I can't believe how its changed so much...."

Yes, of course everything's changed!   That's progress for you!   No need to keep stating the obvious!      Then of course we had to go and track down the bars and restaurants that used to be Tim's local haunts in 1972, so we trek endlessly round the back streets in the 25 degree heat, looking for the Bull and Bush, apparently the most famous and oldest pub in Gibraltar.   Eventually he gives up and asks someone, and as I suspected, it closed down ten years ago......  Similarly with some old restaurant - he was convinced it was going to be just the same as when he last visited, with the same old men sitting at the same tables, same tablecloths, the same menu, but sadly it had turned into an estate agents....

Three days at sea and a gala dinner.....

Blog 4........  Impressions of our cruise ship...

The Magellan was built in 1985, so she is quite an old ship.  She started life with another cruise company, then CMV bought her and she was refurbished in 2014.   I must say that everything on board is spotless and in good condition.   She's a medium sized ship with around 1300 passengers and 600 crew, although when you first board you think you are never going to find your way around, with the endless similar looking corridors and 12 decks.   But in reality, you just need to know how to find your cabin and where the bars and dining rooms are.....

We went for a visit to the bridge, with about 15 other people.  Unfortunately we didn't see the actual Greek captain, but one of the bridge crew showed us round.  He didn't speak English very well, and didn't explain things too clearly, and I think most of the visitors were underwhelmed by mention of radar, AIS, GPS and UTC.  But as we are familiar with these things on boats we thought it was really interesting.   We looked at their weather forecasts, and their actual navigation charts.   I offered to plot our position but he wouldn't let me.  He told us about the stabilisers and he let me stand at the helm.   I guess the most difficult thing is docking the ship when it comes into harbour; there was an extra steering position at the extreme port and starboard sides, with a small glass floor so they could see when the ship was lined up with the quay.     Also on the bridge were some large plant containers with tomato plants growing!   I wonder if they were Greek tomatoes!

At dinner you are allocated a table with either four or six random people.   For breakfast and lunch you can sit anywhere in either of the two dining rooms, but we usually go to the buffet Bistro, which is a bit of a bunfight when you need to find a table.  The buffet is an amazing spread, and of course some people pile their plates as high as they can and come back for seconds!   I haven't actually felt the need to do that, although I thought I would, before I boarded.  I think my food intake has been quite restrained so far.....   Despite some poor reviews about this ship regarding the food, which I don't agree with,  i think the food is excellent, very good standard, fresh, well presented, good choice of dishes on the menu.    In the formal dining room, we decided that if you ate out in a restaurant of this standard back home, it would cost at least £30 or more, for two, without drinks, so for a 15 night cruise that's equivalent to at least £450!   That shows how good value a cruise is, and also how much restaurants rip you off with regards to their prices!

Each evening in your cabin they give you a new schedule of the next day's activities - what's on and where etc.   They also state the dress code for the evening.    Last night was formal, as there was the Captain's cocktail party and gala dinner.   So I donned my best eBay black lacy frock, and Tim wore his freshly laundered multi purpose grey suit.   Of course, he accidentally or maybe on purpose left his newly bought £3 Tesco navy tie at home, so he had to go to the ship's boutique and buy himself another, at some exorbitant price.....  We both agreed not to go to the actual shaking hands with the Captain and cocktail party held in the theatre, as it seemed to involve a lot of standing around and queueing, so instead we had a cocktail to celebrate our anniversary and a nice comfy seat in a bar where there were two girls playing violin and piano, who were amazing, followed by a fabulous dinner.        

As we have three continuous days at sea, you find yourself seeking out activities to while away the time, particularly if the weather isn't pleasant enough to sit on deck in the sunshine.   So far, I have participated in three quizzes (3rd, 2nd and 3rd) and we won the Scattergories game.    We went to a lecture on the History of Gibraltar, saw a cookery demonstration, and I also watched some staff fold towels and napkins into bizarre animal shapes.    I have been to the gym three times, but have given the line dancing and bean bag bowling a miss......

Coffee but no space cake....

Saturday - After an early breakfast, we were the first to leave the ship just after 8am.  We were able to walk into the town in 15 mins, and decided to book our own canal cruise for €16 instead of the £39 each charged if you went on the trip organised by the ship.   I did wonder whether all the people on the organised tour would end up on the same boat as us.    But they didn't, and we had lots of space to ourselves, with just a few other customers on board.   It was a really good way to see the old town.  Dozens of low bridges, beautiful tall buildings, loads of houseboats.   A very photogenic place.

After the canal trip, we walked into the red light district, but at this time of the morning, there wasn't much activity.   But I did get a bit of a shock when we saw quite a largely built woman in a size too small bikini posing in the window in full view of the pedestrians.   What was she thinking?   Didn't dhe realise people could see her?  I'm sure she would catch her death of cold,   Maybe her clothes were still in the wash cycle of the machine.   Then we saw a skinnier but older woman further along the road in another window, similarly dressed.   Or undressed.     Quite an eye opener this morning.   Lots of sex shops, and also lots of shops selling 'happy seeds', magic mushrooms, marijuana biscuits and assorted paraphanalia.

After a nice coffee by the side of the canal watching the world go by, we took a slow stroll back to the boat and had an early lunch in the buffet restaurant before going up to the top deck to watch the ship leave the port and travel slowly down the huge ship channel, and out towards the open sea.    Next stop Gibraltar in a few days time.

This afternoon I could participate in chair aerobics, deck quoits, line dancing, or a lecture on whales and dolphins.   Hmmmm - think I'll give them a miss......

In which we wear orange life jackets and meet our fellow diners.....

Well, we did it.   We have begun our first ever cruise.   And very wonderful it is too.   Despite my worries about being given a cabin in the bowels of the ship, our cabin is actually very very nice.   No window, but about the size and shape of a small hotel room, with a good shower room and lots of storage space.   We are on deck 5, so there are seven decks above us, which takes some getting used to, as I keep getting the deck numbers mixed up..... It's my age.
After finding our cabin, we went for a walk to the top deck to see the ship leave Tilbury.   Not the most exciting place to depart from. But we found a sheltered spot on the top deck and had a coffee.
I must tell you about the lifeboat drill.  Having not been in a cruise before. I was unsure what would happen.   We duly took our life jackets and presented ourselves in Scotts nightclub, our designated muster point.    Many Titanic jokes and hilarity ensued as we attempted to put on the life jackets correctly.    I asked my fellow cruisers if we were actually going to get into a lifeboat, or if we had to keep the life jackets on throughout dinner.    They didn't understand my sense of humour......  Then we were separated into two lines of men and women, we had to hang on to a strap on the jacket of the person in front of us, and in crocodile fashion we had to walk up to the next deck and stand under our designated lifeboat where we waited for ten minutes, doing nothing.   We looked a bit like inflated oranges.     We were told the captain was coming along to inspect us, but we never saw him, unless he was invisible or a one inch high midget.......
Later exploration of the boat revealed a luxury spa, several outside hot tub/whirlpool like pools, and a big theatre.   We also found our allocated dining room and table number.    As the dress code was designated 'casual' for tonight, Tim breathed a sigh of relief as he could wear a casual shirt and no tie or jacket.     We sat on a dining table with four other randoms, who we secretly gave nicknames to, so i could remember them.   There was Concussion Keith (don't ask) and his wife Donna Kebab, and the other couple were Cabby Barry and Eileen Dover.     ......... not the most scintillating dining guests, but i was pleased to learn that we paid the least price for our tickets, less than half of what one couple paid, which i was secretly pleased about.....
We missed the first quiz in the bar, but did go to the second showing of the 'Broadway Musicals' show in the theatre which was very good indeed, and were treated to song and dance routines from Guys and Dolls, Joseph, Cats, Sister Act, Mary Poppins and others.

We have just arrived in Amsterdam, it's still dark.    Lots of people are going on the organised city tour for £39, but we are going on a cheapie DIY tour.   Breakfast first.    A massive luxury spread of every breakfast item imagineable....   When I get back to my cabin, I hope my nightwear has not been fashioned into an animal, as I hate those things!

So far my impressions of cruising are excellent.    I'm practically the youngest on board, and a bit worried at the speed and time that some of the ancients might take to get into our lifeboat.....

Well, I've done it.   Something I swore I'd never do.   I'm almost embarrassed to say it, as in the past I've been rude about these sort of people.  I've criticised their appalling dress sense, laughed at their sheep-like mentality, their lack of imagination.    I don't like queuing, crowds, and being unable to escape my environment.     But I've done it........ Deep breath....

........ I've booked a cruise!    I am now officially a cruise ship tourist.    God help me. What have I done?     My only excuse is that on 4 November I have a special birthday coming up, which is making me so traumatised I can't even say the number of my birthday in case I get palpitations and severe anxiety....

We board the boat this Friday, so we have another few hours before I have to wear a hideous  fluorescent tee shirt, lots of cheap blingy jewellery and a straw hat.......

What am I expecting it to be like?  Not sure really.  I think the ship will be bigger than I expect, bearing in mind the biggest sort of ship I have been on so far is a cross channel ferry.   I think there will be loads of corridors and I will not know which floor I am on.    I think there will be lots of queueing for things - at embarkation, at meal times, at lifeboat drill, when waiting to disembark.   It will be very busy and there won't be enough seats in the popular bars or in the theatre, the gym will be full, the hot to will be packed.    I will be thrilled if I am proved wrong for all this!